Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I have had my first anxiety dream inspired by the paper that I'm (supposedly) writing. I was in some sort of work setting (it's a bit hazy, as most dreams are a while after waking up), and had been given a small but important task by my boss (one of my teachers from an early level of learning Danish, the one who first told me that I needed to spend more time on my written work), which involved informing the rest of the staff (my current school classmates) of something which they had to know in a very timely manner. I hadn't done it, and was going in those endless corridors which appear magically in dreams like this, trying to find everyone to tell them before it was too late. While I was wandering, I was repeating over and over again some line about not living up to my potential. Then thankfully the alarm woke me up.
Of course, I have deduced from this dream, and the rest of my symptoms, that I am going mad. No really. The question is, what type of madness do I have? Let's analyze the situation.
1) Depression: I am not feeling depressed, I must admit. However, it is depressing to have a paper due and not be working on it. It is equally depressing to be working on something, and knowing that it isn't as good as it could be. Turning in a paper knowing that it could have been oh, so much more with more attention and less procrastination is really depressing. So, writing a paper leads to depression.
2) Manic behavior: In order to turn in the paper on time, I know I will have to have at least one episode of frenzied activity, leading up until about 3 minutes before I have to rush to school to turn it in (it can't be done over the internet, or I'd have an extra hour to be frenzied). So, writing a paper leads to manic behavior.
3) Substance abuse: Surely that manic frenzy will be powered by large amounts of coffee. Coffee contains caffeine, which is an addictive substance. And, when all is said and done, and the paper turned in, I may well celebrate with an alcoholic beverage or two. Alcohol is an addictive substance. So, writing a paper leads to substance abuse.
4) Delusions of grandeur: If you aren't convinced at some point in any project that your topic will revolutionize your chosen field, or revolutionize the world, then I don't want to hear it. I know, deep in the depths of my soul, that I deserve a perfect 13 (the highest grade in the Danish scale) just for showing up. When that doesn't happen...see #1. So, writing a paper leads to delusions of grandeur.
5) Manic-depression: In getting my experiment together (not finished, it still isn't, but together) I had to send out a few e-mail cries for help (kindly answered by my supervisor). Thor was kind enough to point out how funny the whole process was (to him, not to me). Discover problem...be extremely depressed, the topic won't work, but what am I going to do, I can't think of another topic, life is horrible. Then get help...ah, everything is wonderful now, my paper will be fine, I'm so happy. Then discover that the solution really didn't help, and the whole thing repeats. So, writing a paper leads to manic-depression.
6) Memory loss: It seems that I have depression, manic behavior...and manic-depression. There seems to be some repetition happening. I must be becoming extremely forgetful, to repeat myself in this way. So, writing a paper leads to memory loss.
7) Split personality: Of course, it may be that there are now two of me, one of whom is manic, and one of whom is depressive. No there aren't. Yes, there are. No there aren't, and anyway it isn't politically correct to joke about split personality. So what, it's funny. No it isn't. Yes, it is, so writing a paper leads to split personality. No, it doesn't!
And finally, 8) Blogging: Nothing gets me to want to read blogs, comment on blogs, and write blog posts, like when I have to be doing something else, like writing a paper. When that blogging involves an overly long bad joke about split personalities, well, what can be more a sign of mental illness than that. So, writing a paper leads to blogging.
So, any illness you'd care to add?
