Well, I have been enjoying a completely relaxing unproductive evening home by myself, as Thor is out with some friends, enjoying a mandehørm. This translates into English as a 'night out with the guys', or literally as 'man-stench', or as Thor defined it for me, 'mand is of course man, and hørm is, well, when there is something that smells really bad, but I mean really bad.' Yes, it's true, the man with whom I live in sin is right this moment out on a man-stench. The beauty of this is that, not only do I get the house to myself, but I also get to periodically think 'mandehørm'...and just laugh.
Thor doesn't quite get the humor of this. I don't recall his exact words, but there was something to do with 'you're having a lot of fun with this, aren't you,' and 'it's really not that funny'. But, of course, it is! I also had the opportunity to talk to the arranger of this particular 'man-stench' earlier in the evening, and asked him if Thor should show up to the event smelly, or if he would naturally acquire a nasty odor as the evening progressed. For some reason, Andreas seemed to think that my question was rhetorical, I can't imagine why. Unfortunately I wasn't able to speak to the other men participating, on the off chance that they would take my question seriously.
Anyway, here are what I think are the rules for a mandehørm.
1) Dress up, as you might be going bar-hopping, or to a nice restaurant, or to a formal event on Mars. Specifically you must iron a shirt, and then leave the iron and ironing board in the hallway where you can be sure to trip over them when returning home drunk at an ungodly hour of the morning. Ask your non-Danish girlfriend if you should be wearing a tie, as if she knows. When she asks, 'Well, where will you be going?', admit that you have no idea.
2) While ironing, listen to extremely loud German industrial music, so that your girlfriend spends the rest of the evening with 'We're all living in Amerika/Amerika ist wunderbar' going through her head. Don't worry - as you also have a rather scary fondness for disco (and Rammstein is pretty cool), your girlfriend will be more relieved than annoyed.
3) Go out with the guys and try to recreate that Nordic mythological tale where Loke the trickster gets Thor to drink a tankard of beer that turns out to contain an entire ocean. In this way, prove that you ARE the real God of Thunder, and your mother's claim that she named you after Norwegian explorer Thor Heyerdahl is simply not true. Do silly things, but not so silly that you can't tell your girlfriend about them the next day, or that you can't remember them the next day.
4) Come home late and drunk. Manage to get into bed really quietly, and then wake your girlfriend up by snoring loudly. Wake up the next morning with a hangover, and vow to never, ever do it again...until the next time.
Hmmm...that sound like it could be fun...with the right company...any of you ladies in the audience up for a 'kvindehørm' sometime soon?