This quiz brought to you by no sleep

The morning after a night of on-off insomnia, I found this lovely, Viking themed quiz. So who is your Viking avatar?


Which Pagan God or Goddess are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

*****************************Update 8am-ish***************************
Thor has just awakened, and has taken this quiz. His result was...well, he is apparently not Thor. Can you believe it? All this time, living with an impostor!

Quick, time travel me to the end of this book!

(Caution, this type of thing invariably contains spoilers)

It is, of course, completely my fault. When reading something, I cannot just read. I try to do this, but at some point in the process, I invariably must also go and look at the reviews of others. This feels a bit slimy always, not to mention underhanded. Can't I form my own opinion? The proof that I can is when my opinion is so different from the prevailing criticism. For example, on occasions like this.

The book in question is The Time Traveler's Wife. The first several reviews I read, and those that I had seen before reading were clear. The book was stunning in every way. It had romance, sci-fi, compelling plot twists, romance, an unusual reworking of the time travel motif, and did I mention that it had a great romance? These made me desperate enough to contemplate posts like 'How can they all like this so much?' Then I discovered that you can rank Amazon customer comments by worst ranked, and found dozens of people who thought even less of the book than I did, much, much less. The book was flat, the romance uninspiring, the language either faux intellectual or unnecessarily graphic. All that inspired another title, the antithetical 'Then again, it's not that bad'.

Of course, all of this is a lie. While I am an obsessive review reader, I normally wait until the end of a book or film before reading them, to avoid spoilers. The first post I really wanted to write about this book would have been titled 'It is not romantic to spend your entire life waiting for a man'. For those who don't know the story, the main male character, Henry, has a time traveling problem - he does it, involuntarily, in ways that bring danger for him and suspense for the reader. Some of his time travels involve visiting his wife in her childhood, so that Clare (that's the wife) ends up having known the adult Henry from when she was six. The book has a great premise. It's well written, and fairly well plotted out, especially in the beginning. I was hooked from the first page. But then it started to gnaw at me: this woman has been with this man for her whole life. She spends her childhood and adolescence waiting for his visits, which has to have an emotional effect on her. She then meets him in the present, and proceeds to wait for him throughout her adulthood, which is defined by his disappearing and reappearing. It's clear throughout that he will die first and that she will then wait for him for the rest of her life, and that is what happens, with her living her life just waiting for a promised final time when Henry will appear in her life. She is a woman who can do nothing but wait for a man. How is this romantic?

That was my prevailing thought for the first 200 or so pages. Then the blog review in my head shifted, became more like 'when on Earth will this end?' Or even 'Will this book ever end?' I felt I had to make it through all 500-plus pages (explaining the 'it's not that bad' title...I don't generally feel compelled to finish bad books.) I almost made it. By about 60 pages before the end, I had skimmed ahead (my other very bad reading habit) enough to know exactly what was going to happen, in great detail. I then just had to read until it happened in my normal time track of reading the book, as opposed to in my time travels into the future of the plot. I couldn't do it. I couldn't read another useless paragraph not advancing the plot. But I had to read anyway. But I didn't want to. I felt that the pages I was reading were stealing time away from other more worthy books, or schoolwork, or something. This compulsion/revulsion lasted until the moment when I felt compelled to read a final paragraph or two before putting the book on the self-return machine at the library and watching it slide away on the machine sorter, to find its convoluted way to the next person on the waiting list (which the library computer system says is 7-9 months long, so the hype must be strong here, too.)

So, in short I can recommend it, but only under the following conditions:

1) You must be a complete romantic. Or, you must ignore the implications of what Henry and Clare's relationship means for Clare's independence, or lack thereof.

2) Buy the Reader's Digest Condensed version.

Another meme, this time for my anniversary

Well, the last (and first) time I filled out a meme was on my birthday, and it fit the theme. This one seems fitting for my anniversary (see first item on list for more details). I think I saw the meme first on daphnewood's site, oh about an eon ago, but then I've seen it (or variations) on a few of the sites I frequent. Here it goes:

10 years ago I was:

...27
...jetlagged as I had just moved to Portugal, my first time living outside the U.S. (yep, I've been an expat for exactly a decade).
...very sheltered, all things considered, and had never really faced the whole paying bills responsibility thing.
...ready for the challenge and adventure of roaming the planet learning languages.

5 years ago I was:

...32
...still in Portugal, and had learned pretty good Portuguese.
...saving up money to spend a year (or so) travelling around Asia.
...debating the merits of remaining an EFL teacher or going into a more stable profession (still haven't figured that one out).

1 year ago I was:

...36
...finally working in Denmark after waiting 6 months for my work permit, during which time I, well, watched a lot of bad t.v.
...finally taking Danish lessons (which are free with residence permit, and cost-prohibitive otherwise).
...looking forward to moving into a larger better lighted apartment.

Yesterday I was:

...all planned for my week's lessons, and reading ahead of schedule for my course (if I keep that kind of thing up, I may have to relinquish my title of patron goddess of procrastination).
...spending quality time with Danish man.
...inspiring aforementioned Danish man to cook his first chili, which was excellent (Danish man's a very good cook).

5 snacks I enjoy the most:

most anything with ginger in it
tortilla chips and a good salsa and/or guacamole, or nachos
cheese on toast
pre-packaged cake frosting
Kraft macaroni and cheese (I actually stockpile this, as it's hard to get here)

5 songs I know all the words to:

Happy Birthday (in English and Portuguese)
A Paixão (Segundo Nicolau da Viola) by Rui Veloso
Ana Ng by They Might be Giants
Long Way Home by Supertramp
...and did I mention that I also know the birthday song in Portuguese?

5 ideal places for running away to:

Mom's house (Hi, Mom!)...there's no place like home.
Lisbon...there's no place like adoptive home.
London...there's no place like...I'm sure you get the idea.
Avenue of the Giants or Big Basin...redwood heaven.
Somewhere exciting where I've never been before...why not run away to adventure?

5 items you will never see me wear:

a bikini
leather pants
blue eyeshadow
big sunglasses with rhinestones
thigh-high black leather boots (they don't fit around my calves alas)

5 biggest joys of my life:

my family
my friends
my relationship with Danish man, and figuring out the Danish language and culture
doing interesting things, like reading and studying and travelling
becoming slowly more and more me

My 3 favourite toys (why only 3?)

my new computer
my digital camera
my blog (really blogging in all of its aspects)

O.K., I notice that not too many are tagging people with this meme...but I will. fourlegged you are it one more time. And, perhaps chibithulhu can come up with suitably Lovecraftian answers to this, so consider yourself tagged as well.

Seasonally inappropriate HNT

Yes, I know. I'm cheating. I'm not half-nekkid. The ground isn't half-nekkid. In fact, absolutely nothing in this photograph is in any way half-nekkid.

However, it fits the weather. After a reasonably sunny and nice few weeks, today was gloomy, somewhat grey, a slight amount windy, and at one point really rainy. It's not that cold, and it's not snowing yet (and won't for a while - Copenhagen isn't that far North really)...but I can feel the colder darker times a-comin'.

So, this photo, taken last January during a hike in the woods behind where I live. In my defense, let me point out politely that we are all half-nekkid under our clothes.

The wonders of wireless

Hello, my name is kimananda, and I am an internet-aholic. I used to be able to curb my habit, as I only had personal access from my home computer, which is more often than not being used by someone else on evenings and weekends. However, with my new laptop, I can connect to the internet wirelessly, whenever I want, wherever there's a network available - and none of this 'I wouldn't join any network that would have me for a member' - I'll join them all (as long as I don't have to pay).

At first I actually thought this new wireless world was a blessing, and I still believe that. However, I have noticed the following changes in my life:

1) I feel the urge to take my laptop with me everywhere I go now, even though it weighs only slightly less than the sun.

2) I want to take my computer out of its case to check for new networks in any and all new locations. I wouldn't normally do this for fear of theft, but now I can't help myself!*

3) As soon as my boyfriend and I get home, we will often each go to our separate machines, and proceed to do computery things...alone. Of course, this means that we are neither fighting nor nagging, but we are also neither communicating nor cuddling.

So, is there a cure? Would I want a cure if there were one? And notice that I'm posting this on the internet, which may bias the response.

* So far, my results are, the library...wireless accessible, and the s-tog (the Greater Copenhagen area commute train)...not accessible. Further obsessive behaviour should lead me to all sorts of bars and cafes to check them for wireless, but I'm not quite that far gone...yet!

The restaurant game, or, how to make bad food good

This game was invented (or re-invented, or stolen without giving credit to the original source, take your pick, but I think I made it up) during dinner at a restaurant somewhere on Highway 1 from Mendocino to Fort Bragg. A Mexican restaurant. A Mexican restaurant with very little going for it. No atmosphere. But to be fair, good margaritas. And fast service. In fact, too fast - we got our food order about 2 minutes after we had placed it, which was also about 2 minutes before the margaritas were ready. Despite the speedy food prep time, our server apologized when serving both the food and the booze for how long we had had to wait, thus adding a touch of surrealism to the proceedings.

And the food? Dreadful. My chili relleno was not at all the right color, and indicated a serious lack of attention to keeping the frying oil fresh. Thor's burrito was not put together very well. And the rice was just wrong - I can't describe how, but wrong. So, was the meal ruined? Did we sink slowly into the depths of sadness and despair? No, we did not. In fact it was the most fun meal we had in our whole vacation, because of the restaurant game (Or rather, The Restaurant Game™).

The rules of the game are quite simple - the people at the table (it could also be done with one person alone, but then would be more of a mental exercise than a game) take turns coming up with reasons why the food is so bad. Anything goes, the more extreme the better, though more mundane explanations are also good. See if you can keep it going for the whole meal. Any other rules are up to you; for example, you could set a time limit for turn-taking. Here are some of the excuses we came up with:

A rival Mexican restaurant in the area is bribing the cooking staff to be really horrible so that business will shift to them.

We were supposed to get our margaritas first, so that by the time the food got to us, we would be a bit tipsy and wouldn't notice the quality (hence the apologies for the service time).

It was a new kind of nouvelle cuisine, and we were not sophisticated enough to appreciate it.

Aliens (in the sense of outer space, not immigration) have taken over the restaurant, and are using it to control the world via mind-control drugs put in the food. They don't realize that the drugs alter the food such that no one will eat it.

The restaurant is owned by dolphins. They wanted to have only raw fish on the menu, but the human support staff convinced them to go for something more conventional like Mexican. But dolphins don't know how to cook Mexican food.

The restaurant owners invented a new fryer which runs on ocean power. It's powerful, economical, and environmentally friendly. The only catch is that if you stop it, you won't be able to start it again, so you can't change the oil.

You get the idea. So, now, it's your turn. Think of a bad restaurant food experience from your past, find some creative excuses for why it was so, and then tell me about it. I look forward to hearing what you come up with!

An End of Summer HNT?

I'm back with another half-nekkid Thursday contribution...or, as I seem to be doing it, half-nekkid every other Thursday. Like my last HNT offering, this one was taken near Mendocino. Thor is in the process of writing T + K in the sand, surprisingly romantic considering how avowedly unsappy we both are.

Happy HNT to you all!

Top ten tourist things seen recently in California

This is, I suppose, a companion piece to this one, only with digital camera. I was travelling around California for 2 weeks as compared to my long weekend travelling Denmark, so thus the 10 things rather than just 5. That said, I could easily have come up with 15 or even 20 - I can hardly believe that the coastline didn't make the top 10...or the Monterey Bay Aquarium...or See's...or It's It...or Anchor Steam (that's a Thor top 10 item, as I don't like beer). What was I thinking? In the final analysis, these are my top 10, and I'm sticking with them. Feel free to add your own personal California faves in the comments - I would love to get some inspirational ideas for my next trip out.

1) Redwoods: You cannot see them and not fall hopelessly in love with them. And no photograph can do them justice. They are too vast, too far up, too shrouded. Or, to steal from a great poet of my acquaintance: 'Wow.'

2) Chinatown: When I lived in the area, Chinatown for me was the place to go to buy cheap Mao shoes. Since I've been away, I've discovered the touristic charms of the area. It was made more interesting by comparisons that I could now make to the 'real' China (my first visit to China being last Christmas/New Year's).

3) San Simeon/Hearst Castle: What can I say...I had no idea what to expect, and couldn't imagine that it would be that exciting - I'm skeptical of any location that requires one to go through on a guided group tour. I was wrong. It was a several hour picture-taking fest. Bad pictures for the most part. Actually, it said quite clearly on signs throughout the grounds that photography was o.k., but written permission is required before publication. I assume that this will not apply to my blog, or look for my 'top tourist things seen recently in prison' series sometime soon.

4) Japanese Tea Garden: The home of fortune cookies - yes, they were invented here, a fact which got me a free meal from a bet made with a naive foreigner. An oasis of peace...if you can ignore the sound of rebuilding work being done on the nearby DeYoung Museum and Academy of Sciences.

5) Mendocino: A quaint California town, with cute shops and immense numbers of tourists. Which makes it a lot like any other quaint California town (for example, Ferndale, Cambria, Sausalito). But with it's own scenery of course.

6) SFMOMA: The best museum architecture ever. Classic photography collection. Great giftshop and cafe/restaurant. Worth it just to go to the bridge on the fifth floor and then look down.

7) Baseball: No trip during the season is complete without a game. It's an adventure. Of course it's better when the Giant's win. Or if it's a good game. It wasn't. However, we scored tickets in the Field Club, where I have never been before (and probably will never be again, alas). We forgot the camera for this one, but if we had had it, the photo here would have been of the waiter delivering food to our seats. Sweet!

8) Golden Gate Bridge: I feel pride for 'my' bridge whenever I'm in Lisbon and gaze upon 'their' 25 de Abril bridge, which is a clear copy (no, really, it was modelled after the GGB). The Lisbon bridge is longer, but mine you can walk across it. For the photo, I'll refer you to my last post - by far the best pic taken on the trip.

9) Alcatraz/Angel Island: These go together as we saw them on the same day. I hadn't been to Alcatraz for well over a decade, and had never been to Angel Island and knew nothing about it really. The main thing was the trip in the ferry, the views of the city from the islands, and imagining life in maximum security. And hiking on Angel Island...I would imagine, but alas had no time for it.

10) Food: I always gain vast quantities of weight when I go home, as I pretty much eat continuously, all the comfort foods, and then going out to eat all the time (well it is my holidays after all). We had amazing Mexican, Chinese, New Age, and steakhouse cuisine, not to mention breakfast places, diners, and even fast food (no Taco Bell in Europe). We also had the worst Mexican food I have ever had in my life, but that I will save for another post.