lørdag, januar 28, 2006

Recently overheard near a deck of tarot cards


Thor: Alright, so these (holds cards out for show) can tell the future, right?

kimananda: Well, not exactly...they're more for meditation...confirmation of current trends...

T: Yeah, yeah, but they show how to get to future situations, right?

k: Well, you could look at it that way, I suppose.

T: O.K., so (looks at the cards, and begins loosely shuffling them, and talking to them) what do I need to do in order to win the lottery this week? Tell me... (pulls a card from the deck and places it on the table...it's the Ace of Pumpkins...turns to kimananda)...O.K., what's it mean? What do I have to do to win?

k: Well, let's see. You've pulled the Ace of Pumpkins, which in more conventional decks would be the Ace of Pentacles or Ace of Disks. Pentacles or pumpkins refer to the material aspects of things, the real tangible world. In this case, that would presumably be money. The ace generally represents the seed of an element, the tiny beginning that starts it all. So, clearly, this card can be seen as a tiny seed of money which could perhaps leads to more money later on. Basically, what the cards are telling you is that, if you want to win the lottery, the way to do it is to buy a ticket.

T: O.K., so this means that if I buy a ticket, then I will win the lottery. (turns to cards) Thank you cards. I will buy a ticket, and if you are right, then I will win. If you are wrong, then burn, baby, burn

This was two days ago, and he has been periodically threatening my favorite deck of tarot cards ever since. He has also, as of a couple of hours ago, bought a ticket (the draw is sometime this evening). If force of will is enough to affect the winning numbers, then we'll both be much better off financially tomorrow (as he's promised me half). If not, then I may have to move my cards to some sort of parapsychological safe house.

*Cards courtesy of the Halloween Tarot, published by US Games*

13 kommentarer:

FourLegged sagde ...

This reminds me of an old joke.

A naïve young woman finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray ...

"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins it.

She again prays ... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays ... "My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. Please let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The lady is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself ...

"You've gotta work with Me on this ... At least buy a ticket."

Dok Holocaust sagde ...

Are all humans so foolish? the instructions for winning the lottery are too simple for even your supernaturally themed playing cards to convey - you win the lottery by picking the winning numbers.

If one really wants to get rich, the secret is to start a religion with lots of appealing merchandise.

Daphnewood sagde ...

well it has passed time for the lottery draw and I was checking back to see if you are rich or tarot cardless. If you did win can you send that deck this way?

kimananda sagde ...

Hi fourlegged, tee hee!

Chibi, you are absolutely right. But notice the cards didn't tell him which ticket. Of course they meant the ticket with the winning numbers.

Hi Daphnewood, nope, as you might expect we are still only rich in non-tangible sentimental types of treasure. But I did manage to keep my cards from the match!

Mr. American, thanks. I'd be interested in hearing more about such a game mod. And it's too bad the cards didn't work, cause then I could just send them around to everyone!

Dok Holocaust sagde ...

There was a tabletop roleplaying game released in the late 90's called Witchcraft that had a system for using playing cards as the randomizing element instead of dice, and I always thoguht it would be fun to supplant them with tarot cards. Unfortunately the game was a watered-down version of Mage: the Ascension, so nobody wanted to play it when we all had the books for Mage anyway, so I never got ot try out my idea

Chipper sagde ...

I think Chibithulhu has the idea--! Tel thor that since he mocked the cards thats why they didn't work for him. ;-)

The mini ninja sagde ...

I would have told Thor, "In order to win the lottery, you have to eat a pumpkin. Ready...set...GO!"

Clearly, fortune telling is not my calling.

Dok Holocaust sagde ...

Or tell thor he didn't draw enough cards to get a full answer. the first one gave part of the answer. "Buy a ticket..." but the other cards would have instructed him, had he drawn them, to then pick the winning numbers.

although making him eat a pumpkin would be funny

x sagde ...

i read a story by Muriel Spark about telling the cards, yesterday on the bus. It was very impressive. I'll photocopy it and send it to you with my first goodie package.
Also, do i need to shuffle for you to tell me the cards? :)

HanktheDog sagde ...

It's kind of interesting that furtune can mean luck, wealth, or simply chance. How'd that happen? If all else fails, you can always say the cards have already made him a fortune, just not the kind anticipated.

Vanessa sagde ...

I agree with hankthedog - tell him that you are the fortune of which the cards speak!

Dok Holocaust sagde ...

Tell him to interpret the card ltierally - he must wstart his own pumpkin farm to get rich! and eat a pyumpkin.

kimananda sagde ...

Morose, that sounds either very cool, or very cheesy. After all, aren't dice a bit less unwieldy than a deck of cards. And yes, it should be clear from this comment that I've never done much gaming. Didn't have the concentration span for it, to be honest.

Etchen, I thought that the attitude wasn't right, but couldn't think of a non-offensive way to tell him that.

Leslie, that might be it! Too bad we didn't have any pumpkin in the house.

Morose2, I'm sure you're right, but seeing as that was the 10th card or so he had drawn (despite claiming no interest in the cards at all, mind you), well, it's for the best, really.

Chloe, I look forward to reading it (and will be sending you a few things on Monday). And I always shuffle before reading, but I say that with tarot, anything goes if you feel comfortable with it.

Sangroncito, alas, still poor. :-(

Hankthedog and Vanessa, I told Thor that I was the fortune of which the cards spoke. He gave me a very serious look and said, 'yes, but...you're poor. I mean, I like you a lot and everything, but...you're poor.' He said this, by the way, in a very romantic way.

Morose3, hmmm...do pumpkins even grow in Denmark? I'm off to do some research on this.