Might not make any sense if you've never heard a Dane talk about Denmark

At a crossing of paths, during a walk in Dyrehaven:

Thor: So, which way should we go...this way is to Bakken, and this way is to the great plain.

Me: I'll go for the great plain. And when you say 'great plain', what exactly do you mean by this?

Thor: I mean it's big, hence the name 'great plain'.

Kim: Yes, but is it really great in a universal way, or only in the same Danish way that makes Himmelbjerget into an actual mountain.

Thor: Well, you know the Serengeti? Well, it's...

Me: ...totally different from this place?

Thor: ...well, apart from the lions? It's basically the same thing.

Kim: O.K., so you're saying it's great in the sense that, Everest, yeah, it's tall all right, but nothing that could remotely compare to Rundetårn, right?

Thor: (wiping fake tears from his eyes) I'm so proud. You're finally becoming integrated.

*Photo: a view of the great plain. There are animals in the far distance (my camera was not quite up to capturing them), but they appear to be deer, not lions. NB: To a Dane, all objects of size in the world are inevitably compared to either Himmelbjerget, Rundetårn, or more likely, both.*

A post about the neighbors

We hardly ever see any of the people who live in our building. Although, for the most part, I'm not sure I'd recognize them if I saw them. But our downstairs neighbor, he is everywhere. We go to the store, we find him shopping. Or we meet him on our way there or back. We leave the building, we pass him on the stairwell. We go to the basement to get our bikes, he's just coming in the other door. The working theory is he takes a lot of walks to escape his wife; however, often we see them together, or rather, we know they are together because, well, we know they are together, but if we didn't know, then we wouldn't know, as he is always several steps behind her, and they appear not to talk. She says hello, but is a bit grim and gruff. He's always very friendly and smiling, and sometimes chats to my boyfriend.

It's has gotten to the point where we take bets on whether we'll see him or not when one of us leaves the house. We talk about him, how he's always there, like he's stalking us, does he wait for us to leave the building and then run out so that we can run into him, and so on, as fun dinner party conversation. But then it hit me. What if they do talk to each other, when indoors away from the public eye? And, what if, when talking, they say the same things about us? Conversation would be as follows (translated from the Danish, of course):

Him: Hey, honey, I'm home...and guess who I saw?

Her: You're kidding. Again? They're everywhere!

Him: I know. Don't they have anything to do except to walk around town?

Her: Did you see them both? Cause I saw just him the other day.

Him: Presumably trying to get away from her. Do you see how she is? She's always talking. And in English...can you imagine?

Her: Yeah. If I were him, I'd take long walks, too!

Him: But no, actually I saw both of them. With shopping bags, of course.

Her: Figures. Do they do anything except shop for food?

And so on. It's making me a bit paranoid. Or does everyone have a neighbor like that, and I've just never noticed the ones where I've lived previously? Any stories to tell to ease my increasingly tense nerves would be greatly appreciated.

*The ceremonial last random China photo (there are some other non-random ones which will be posted shortly). This is a street in Chengdu, where we did not, to my knowledge, run into any neighbors.*

Eventually, we all become our parents

Or our grandparents, as the case may be. Comment given today, as Thor and I walked out from the train station. Directly in front of us, two pre-pubescent girls wearing tiny tank tops and very, very, very tight jeans.

Thor: Oh, those girls. Look at them, they are too poor to afford pants that fit. They've almost grown out of them. Maybe we should tell them where to find a used clothing store so that they can buy new ones.

He has also been known to comment about the clothing choices of teenage skateboard punks...'Oh, look. They're so poor, they have to wear their older brothers' pants. They're almost falling off.' Or anyone wearing clothing with fashionable holes in them.

Yes, it's true, my boyfriend is an 87-year old man trapped in a 32-year old man's body. The horror. The horror.

How to deal with difficult questions

Thor's Dad once signed himself up for ten lessons of Italian cooking. At the first lesson, a very well-presented woman (WPW) started talking to him, and pointing out others in the class whom she already knew, presenting them by title...

WPW (in a conspiratorial whisper): That man over there is the director of (blah blah) and the man in the blue shirt is vice-president of (blah blah)...

Thor's Dad could see where this was going, that sooner or later she would want to hear all about his status level, which made him (egalitarian Dane to the core) a bit uncomfortable. Eventually it happened:

WPW: And, what do you do?

Thor's Dad: I own a small business in Buenos Aires.

WPW (looking impressed): Oh! What kind of business is it?

Thor's Dad: Well, we have 30 or 40 young girls....

At this point, the well-presented woman became very alarmed, and changed the subject. Thor's Dad decided to forego the rest of the cooking lessons, as the clientele was clearly several notches above what he was into.

In the interest of avoiding any libel charges, I must inform you that Thor's Dad works in some sort of management position in one of Denmark's largest companies. As far as I know, he does not actually own any brothels, in Argentina or elsewhere. Furthermore, he is an excellent cook.