torsdag, februar 07, 2008

Where to go from here?

A long-standing issue in my life is just an idea, specifically that, once one has made a decision, or chosen a path, then all other paths become blocked off. Along with being a sure recipe for commitment phobia, this idea keeps me in constant search for whichever path might be one which will allow me to also chose other paths. Does that make any sense at all? Perhaps not.

The deal now is that, soon I will have a period of total break from my current reality, communitas time, where I will transition into motherhood. And then, after that transition, I will be able to go on to do, well, anything I'd like really. But what would I like? I realize that I have lots of time to ponder this, but also that the more I dream now, the more I can do to make it all a reality over the next year or so.

If it were you, with a year of transition, what would you want to transition to? And for that matter, what would you do during the year? The wilder, the better. As I hear your dreams, I will also be crystallizing my own possibilities, to be shared when they're a little more fully-formed.

7 kommentarer:

Devil Mood sagde ...

I'm the wrong person to ask. Having a lot of time to make a decision isn't a guarantee of deciding at all; it's probably the other way around. It's only when we take some sort of chance that we really decide, in a second. There, it's over.

Chloe sagde ...

If i had another transition now, with another baby, i'd start a home business, something to do with food and cooking and crafts.
But at this point i think you are missing a piece of data that is important in this decision. Maybe what you are going to be after the baby arrives and what your needs are going to be and what your desires are going to be is something you don't know yet.
After a year of motherhood transition I wanted to stay at home and work part time in the afternoons. I did that for 3 years and then it was time for another transition and I started working full time again in a totally new field of work. And i couldn't have predicted that before. Actually, before the baby had come I kept thinking i wanted to do a PhD.

Vesper sagde ...

motherhood kind of throws everything out the hell with paths....basically!

Greg Mills sagde ...

With two weasels of my own, I'd have to say I'd want to transition into a life where the kids could be wilder and freer than they are now. Some place with fields and streams and crap like that. We could do that now, but it would mean buying a ridiculously expensive house further into the burgs.

I would want to move farther out, try a new state or country. I would love the opportunity to hang out more and go for long walks across fields and the like. I guess I'm saying I'd like to be a crumdgeonly hermit, full-time.

That said, a father of school age kids is not the mother of a newborn.

kimananda sagde ...

Ms. Mood, I'm the wrong person to ask as well, which is why I'm asking. ;-) Truth is, my dreams are still unchanged, and seem to be more accessible at the moment; it's just up to me to do some actual work.

Chloe, I realize that things will change. However, I won't be in a position to do anything but work full time...and anything other than my dream job, on a full-time basis, inspires me to slit my wrist. So, I'll continue on the path that I'm on now, until motherhood pushes me off of it. ;-)

Vesper, that's true with or without a kid, I'd say.

Greg, that sounds good. And idyllic. And just a bit boring. I guess I'm just meant to be an urban mama.

Novel Nymph sagde ...

all i would transition to is more of a writer than i already am. i would just write and write... it is in the blood.

i am so moved by you and what you will transition into as a mother. something more beautiful than you already are that will blind us all from the sheer beauty of you...


kimananda sagde ...

Thank you for your lovely words! I like the idea of writing more, and hope and plan to do that as part of whatever is in store.