I used to be such a model pregnant woman. I don't smoke, or use any illegal substances. I didn't drink very much before getting pregnant, and so had no trouble cutting the rest out. Barring one fateful encounter with a white chocolate coffee in my second month, or possibly because of that encounter, I have stayed away from caffeine. I refuse to consume any type of seafood, or any herbal tea, or any other suspect material, without first doing an online search to determine its safety. And of course, I would not be taking any medicine for anything at all until well after the birth.
Luckily I've had it relatively easy. No morning sickness, no major back pain, nothing really. Well, except for a bit of heartburn, which I have had to some degree or other since early on, increasing gradually in intensity, but not serious. Well, unless periodic projectile vomiting (you know, the kind where you get to not only vomit, but also clean the entire bathroom afterwards, which is especially pleasant at 2am) is considered serious? Or not really feeling like eating because I'd then feel like I was going to projectile vomit, except that I'd also get that feeling from not eating? When I'd mention my 'sure opstød' to my doctor or my midwife, I'd hear that, well, I certainly could take something for it. Which would lead to me smiling politely, writing down the suggested treatment, and then ignoring it.
Until the last, and most spectacular erm, incident. When I was finally compelled (and nagged) into buying the stuff whose name I had so politely written down. It's fairly innocuous (the fine print clearly states that the product can be taken during pregnancy), binds to stomach acid, and can be taken whenever I want, in whatever quantity I'd like. And, what's even better, it works. I started by popping them like candy. Now, I've cut back to just a couple one or two times a day. I no longer dread going to bed (if you've ever had heartburn, you'll know that it's not compatible with being in a horizontal position), and have now had almost a full week of my meals staying where I put them.
I don't even feel guilty about it. But now my heartburn is less, I find myself considering treating all the other minor ailments which I've learned to just live with. Like that cough I've had since the middle of the second trimester. Or the snoring. Thor would certainly appreciate if I got something to take care of the snoring. Maybe something to take to keep my feet from swelling in the evenings? Where will it end? Maybe by skipping all natural ways of easing the pain of labor and going straight for the morphine? Maybe I'd be better off just taking up smoking and heavy drinking?
*No photo credit: My idea was to have a current belly photo with this post, but truth be told, I'm just too huge. I can't bring myself to put that kind of abdominal girth on the blogosphere.*