onsdag, november 01, 2006

An open letter to the Danish weather gods

Greetings, with humble apologies for intruding upon the time of your holy holinesses: I am but a mere mortal, and a stranger to your abode, and yet I feel I must speak.

Salutations shall be yours for that glorious month of July of which I have heard so much. Though I passed that wonderous time in parts far away, and though your brethren Portuguese weather gods are also mighty and good, the tales of your particular Summer beneficence are reknowned and will live on in the hearts of your people. Of August also have legends already begun.

Praise be for the week of warm rain which greeted my homecoming, proof both of your greatness, and of the folly of my long absence from your realm. Blessed were the months of September and October, for their benign magnificence, where you quashed the three conjoined demons, cold, rain, and dark to give your loyal populace respite from the harsh times which have always been a part of the heavenly existence which you have created.

The holy month of November is now upon us, and it is here that protestations must be given to your eminences. You are great, you are good, and your blessings are eternal. Salutations are offered for the manner in which you change the seasons slowly, shortening each day, and refreshing each night. Reverence is given to your cyclical nature.

Yet, I fear the time for snow should not yet have arisen. Lamentations are given, together with sacrificial leverpostej, sild, and snaps, in order that the snow shall be no more during this blessed November month. I bow at the feet of your majesties, and tremble, afraid that this, my deepest desire shall be as a threat in Thine eyes. Let the white flaky coldness lift from the land, and let the people rejoice by your grace.

12 kommentarer:

Collective Heartburn sagde ...

You can actually throw in the last couple of weeks of violent rain and wind, though blessed with spots of sunlight, has made us agoraphobics extra trepidacious about stepping outside.

Kelly sagde ...

Amen! So say we all! :-)

Simple American sagde ...

So you don't wanna put the skis on your bike?

Devil Mood sagde ...

lol that was wonderful! I'm sure they'll attend to such a glorious letter. Good luck!

Anonym sagde ...

you pagan!

DayByDay4-2Day sagde ...

and just what were you drinking today??

sophie sagde ...

Weather as poetry -
how lovely!!

I love the idea of strapping your
skis to your bike:)

Daphnewood sagde ...

let me know if your weather gods reply. I just might take a crack at the Kansas weather gods if it pans out for you ;)

Scholiast sagde ...

ROFL - how could I not have thought of this way to approach the misgivings of early snow?

kimananda sagde ...

Mr. Heartburn, actually we had only a day or two of violent rain and wind before the snow, so it was even more shocking with the snow.

Kelly, welcome back! :-) And, hey, my plea seems to be working!

Mr. American, now that's a good idea.

Ms. Mood, they seem to be attending...it's raining a bit now, but it hasn't snowed since I wrote this.

Kunstem..., yep, that's me. Well, as much as I have a spiritual side at all, that is.

Day, melted snow. I wouldn't recommend it.

Sophie, thank you...and if I do take Simple American's suggestion, I'll be sure to post photos.

Daphnewood, it seems to be working. I'd say give it a try. ;-)

Scholiast, yep, it was pretty cathartic, I must say.

Collective Heartburn sagde ...

Ugh..I'm so slow about catching onto the comment trail. Now i get it.

Down south where I am, we had a few more days of the monsoon before the sne..uh..I mean snow. Good thing it has leveled a bit.

Thanks to you.

kimananda sagde ...

So has it worked there, too? It's been quite nice (cold, and dark, but snow-free) here, too!